When you’re 30 and you know it, clap your hands

And when you’re 32, clap your feet too. Doesn’t make sense? Well, that’s life, sorry to disappoint you. I’ve truly started believing there’s no meaning to this one life we lead. Ok sorry for generalizing, this one life I live. Isn’t that what nihilism is? I came across the word in a book I was reading a while ago and I  looked it up online. Google defined it as “the rejection of all religious and moral principles, often in the belief that life is meaningless”. It was an earth-shattering moment, kinda like God him/herself coming down and going “gotcha, suckers”. Basically, Google was my God delivering divine intervention through the written word. I didn’t even need to research anymore (I think I should) -that one line just meant everything to me. I don’t know about you but it helped me a great deal. It changed the way I looked at everything – from waking up in the morning to exercising to letting the pedestrian cross the road (so he can get to the other side, haha). As contradictory as it may seem, it gave me a weird me a sense of purpose. To just see this fuckin’ life through. There’s an end date to all this which basically means it’s temporary. So instead of thinking “Damm, I hate waking up at 7 am”, I now think “Great, just 13,870 days to do this and then I am done with this!” You can do the math to figure out what my intended life expectancy is. I think that’s pretty cool, isn’t it? I have to clarify, though, I’m not a cynic or a depressed maniac because of this. I truly, truly am happy living life this way – one day at a time, knowing that a fancy UFO is coming soon to teleport me out of this world and poof I’d go as I vanish into thin air. I just hope I have an audience to watch me go. Or even better, they can join me! Oooh, this is getting exciting! (Write to me if you would like me to put in a recommendation to the outer space dudes to get you in on my leave-the-world-forever tour. Half price tickets, guys. No? Ok fine, it’s free. Just for you. You can thank me later.)

When you put a countdown to it, though, it makes things exciting and at the same time super intense because there’s only so much time left! I have to start planning every single of my 13,970 days (+-10 days, room for error and all). That many people to meet, those many jokes to be laughed at, that much food to be eaten and well, those many pounds to lose, ahem. There’s a lot of people to say good bye to but that just means there’s a lot more happy memories to be collected and pictures to be instagrammed. Yes, I still am an active-as-hell instagrammer, if anything more so now.  Bottom line, I think I need to get a bucket list going and one that’s pretty realistic, no? No lofty goals like I need to visit every single country in the world. Just believable, achievable things like I want to kiss my dogs goodnight every single day for the next 40 years or lose 40 lbs in 40 days. I think I can do that. Totally achievable, absolutely 200% right up my alley. Perfect, that’s a start.

While I go and continue to populate my list, I leave you all with today’s nomination for the World’s greatest invention – the infamous autocorrect. This post would not have been possible without the continuous, every-word spell check support that helped convert many inappropriate words into more elegant language. 

Until next gime… sorry, lime. Dammit, I mean time. Oh well, I spoke too soon๐Ÿ™Š


Author: beetlejuice357

Living the dog-mom life, 7 years at a time. Over-thinking and under-writing. Empathy is a slow killer.

4 thoughts on “When you’re 30 and you know it, clap your hands”

  1. Please get me those price tickets with south indian meals ya… cause I’m getting doubts about the defined, written, idealistic blah blah meanings out there..I don’t belong to any of those.. like the way you put it ๐Ÿ‘

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